Monday, April 30, 2012

The Babies

I am always saying that Christian and I are "babies" starting our life together so young. However, I am referring to a different set of babies today. Allow me to introduce to you the newest kids on the block...
Aren't they cute!?
I love spring time and how can it be spring without new life? The new little goslings born every year on Christian's parents' pond are a reminder of my new life in Christ and of the start of something new in me and Christian's relationship as well. Two years ago in April, I returned back from a spring break missions trip to Lima, Peru during my senior year. It was a trip that I will never forget. I was surrounded by amazing leaders and missionaries that poured truth into my life. During a conversation with my "adoptive dad" who watched out for me on the trip, I I came to realize just how much I cared for a boy named Christian. My "dad" on the trip was telling the girls in his group just how special we are to God and how we only deserve his very best in the guys we are in relationship with. He said that we should only consider dating a man that is not only a Christian, but who is passionately in pursuit of Jesus. I realized then how thankful I was that Christian is apart of my life; constantly pushing me closer to God. I realized that I couldn't imagine doing life without him. These realizations were even more so confirmed in me when I looked around at some of my dearest friends and was heartbroken to find that many of them were giving their hearts away and God knows what else to men who were not followers of God. I couldn't believe what I was seeing! I say this only because I knew these girls well and saw so clearly that they were God's girls. They deserved so much better.

Christian had loved me like Christ does. We had begun to build a friendship based in trust, covered in grace and full of joy. I knew coming back from that trip to Peru that I missed Christian. I began to see how I was giving my heart to him.

Fast forward to the week I returned from Peru. It was Christian's birthday weekend and spring had come to Georgia. Christian took me lunch and we talked about the trip. We came back to his house and decided to go canoeing on the pond. The babies had hatched and we paddled as close as we could get to admire their cuteness.

On that important day April 14, 2010
As a side note, poor Christian has endured way too much of my usage of the word "cute" in my vocabulary. I have realized that coming from a family with three brothers...let's just say its not a word that is used very often. Today, it always makes me smile when he now uses the word to describe me and my little sis. We rub off on each other.

After canoeing, we found ourselves on the bank of the pond fishing and before I knew what I was doing I was basically declaring my love for him. Okay, not exactly, but the just of what I was saying was relaying the feelings I had had while in Peru, I told him that I felt that we were essentially dating or maybe "just friends" "hanging out", but that I needed to know where the relationship was going. I don't think I did a good job of explaining this, but I now realize that what I was needing to know from Christian that day is if what we had was something special. I think I knew the answer. I think we both had known for a while now. But I was determined to get an answer from him that day. I needed to know what was going on because my own, guarded heart was having trouble knowing what to do. I had gotten to a point where my heart had begun deceiving me and it was in limbo over whether or not Christian and I had a potential for a future together.

All of this totally caught Christian off guard. He had never processed or defined a relationship as special as ours. Neither had I. Therefore, I didn't hold his mumbling and fumbling against him. My heart was already kind of at ease after getting my words out. I had to leave to go pick up my sister at a friends house and it makes me laugh to think that I left without working everything out. I guess that I was pretty confident that it would all work out for good in the end. My heart felt free, but I left Christian a the pond suffering. Poor guy.

Over the course of the next half-hour he called my phone probably 5 times. During which I was standing in my best friend's driveway celebrating her acceptance into design school. I remember blasting Toby Mac from my mom's minivan speakers for the neighborhood to hear and us dancing? Did we really do that? All the while Christian is desperately trying to get a hold of me so that we can set things right.

I eventually got home and called him back. We talked through the fact that, yes, we each cared about the other A LOT. We agreed that we did not want to spend time getting to know any other girl/guy like we did with each other. We decided that our relationship would transition to being a more intentional one; spending special time together and getting to know each other better. We got off the phone being defined as being "in a relationship" I guess? Good times. We were headed in a fun direction. Excited to see where our heavenly father would lead.

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