Sunday, March 27, 2011

Smart Girl / Stupid Girl

I am currently doing a Beth Moore bible study on the patriarchs of the bible. I was just reading about Joseph after he had been sold by his own brothers into slavery in Egypt. Still through that trial, God looked upon Joseph with favor and placed him in the house of Potiphar who was in the high ranks of Pharaoh's empire. Pretty soon, Potiphar saw that the hand of God was on Joseph and how everything he did became a success because of the Lord. Potiphar went as far as putting Joseph into command of his entire household and made him his right-hand man. As most of you know, Joseph had a lot going for him and even when faced with trial and temptation God gave him everything he needed to succeed.

Joseph faced his greatest challenge yet when Potiphar's alluring wife began to seek him out; desiring for him to sleep with her. In response, he gave the woman more than just a refusal, "And though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her." Gen. 39:10, but also reasons why. Joseph knew what was on the line for him. His master trusted him with everything and it would be a wicked sin against him and in the sight of God. Joseph successfully resisted temptation and came out on the other side a man of even stronger character.

With this story in mind, I ask you to consider…

What specific motivations do you have for not buckling to worldly temptations?

I named this post Smart Girl/Stupid Not So Smart Girl because, as women, we tend to be either of these -smart or stupid. I hesitate to even use the word stupid because I am so nice, but at the same time the truth is that we can be just plain stupid sometimes. I smile knowingly at the picture above that my lovely sister Emilie photographed. Love can make us dumb. Especially in the area of guy/girl relationships, the world often encourages us to throw caution to the wind and (in a Disney princess-y voice) "follow your heart." Below are some thoughts that might help you distinguish between being a smart girl and a stupid girl in various situations.

A Not-So-Smart Girl

Acts on impulse – Let look at this little dialogue…boy: Hey, I really like you; I think that you are really awesome and I was wondering if you would go out with me? girl: Oh yes! I like you too! (turns to girlfriends) Eeeek!!! Girls, so and so and I are dating!!! Cute right? Well, a little background for you, this boy and girl met on a missions trip and had known each other for a grand total of 1 week. This story really happened to this girl but thank goodness I didn't share the reaction of the girl above. This may sound like a goofy example, but it happens every day. A Not-So-Smart Girl makes decisions on impulse with no regard to reason or to God's will.

Lets emotions rule – This trait of a Not-So-Smart Girl goes hand in hand with the first, but emotions often wage a war inwardly. As women with "spaghetti brains (check out this video)," we have to keep out thoughts and emotions on tight reigns. An unwise girl is quick to gossip about others, posts thoughts that should remain private on sites like Facebook and has no control over what comes out of her mouth in front of guys and others.

Initiates - This is a trait that scares me the most about being a Not-So-Smart Girl. A girl that initiates a relationship with a boy is charting dangerous waters. God created men to want to chase and win a girl and her heart. If we turn to throwing ourselves on guys and don't make them earn our trust and affection then we are sacrificing the amazing plan God has for love and eventually marriage. A Not-So-Smart Girl chases boys, texts and calls them and sends them mixed messages in her actions and speech.

A Smart girl

Thinks things through- In regards to Joseph's story, Beth Moore says "We are wise to rehearse in advance our reasons for standing firm." Ladies, we need to decide what we are going to do in a given situation BEFORE we find ourselves wrapped up in it. Looking back to my middle school years I am thankful that my mom talked with me about what I would do if a boy "asked me out" or to be his "girlfriend." Knowing in advance what my response to them would be, whether it was a guy that was "stalking" me or a guy that I actually liked, helped me bypass so much drama and heartache. Likewise, when you are in a special relationship with the opposite sex you need to decide where to draw the line physically with that person. It is so important that you think through your reasons for standing firm in this precious area of purity. For me personally, being prepared in what I was going to say and do made me a smart girl especially into my high school years when I was making decisions mostly on my own. This leads me to another attribute…

Prays- Using the example of dealing with a boy, don't be afraid to take time to pray about a relationship. I promise God cares about your love life. If a guy thinks that you are weird for not accepting or giving him an answer right away, then he is not the guy for you. A girl who stops to talk to God about a decision whether big or small is smart.

Seeks wisdom- I remember being a cute, little 7th grader when a boy asked me to be his girlfriend. Going to someone who is older, wiser and further in their relationship with the Lord are all qualities that you need to look for in receiving counsel from someone. My mom talked me though what it would potentially look like to "go out" with this sweet friend. She reasoned that we would eventually bore of each other and then possibly break up. What would that do to our friendship? Would it be awkward? These were all questions my awesome mom talked me through. In the end I decided that it was better that we remained friends – and we are both now grown, in college and friends to this day! I am so thankful that I stopped to gain wisdom. I wonder how some of my middle school girlfriends would have advised me if I had told them about that boy first. Oh the drama!

This is good stuff; stuff that I am learning and have learned. Stuff that I want other girls to know. We want to be girls after God's own heart, seeking His face in everything we do and say! While I was writing this, my mom threw this book my way. It is a wonderful resource that shows the difference between being a "Girl Gone Wild" and a "Girl Gone Wise" with lots of scripture to back it up.

Girls Gone Wise: In a World Gone Wild by Mary A. Kassian

Also, check out the books awesome website!

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