Thumbs Up

No one knows about my new habit. Well, until now. For the past six month to a year whenever I am nervous, anxious or uncomfortable I have been picking at my thumbs. They hurt sometimes because of how often I mess with them. Most of the time, I don’t even realize that I am doing it. Therefore, it has turned into a habit. 

In all the wedding planning and life planning in general going on at the moment Christian is always asking me if I am anxious about anything, worried, etc. “No.” I am quick to reply. “I am not nervous.” The Lord says in Philippians 4:6, “Do not be anxious about anything” right? Nope, I’m good. I’m not anxious about anything.

My thumbs tell a different story.

We are all hiding things. We say that we are just fine and hide all our true struggles and pain under a mask that has it all together. Most All of the time we find it difficult to admit defeat or let our weakness show, but often unveiling the truth is when the healing can begin. 

Reading Psalm 73 this morning soothed my crazy heart as I took a minute to breathe in God’s strength for me today. I felt the peace that transcends all understanding begin to wash over me. I let God show me that it is his strength that strengthens my heart; preparing me for whatever is to come. He is my portion for today and forever. 

Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Those who are far from you perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you. But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds. ~Psalm 73:23-28

Maybe my thumbs will get a rest for awhile.